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We criticise ourselves because we think if we do t

We criticise ourselves because we think if we do that we will do better next time & BE BETTER.
😱 I hate to break it to ya my friends but that shit doesn’t work
Trust me I tried it for years!
We criticise ourselves and then we feel terrible.
Then we associate feeling terrible with not wanting to do it again, with not being good enough…
➡️ Criticising ourselves doesn’t make us do better or be better
It just feels like shit.
It’s like trying to hate our way to happiness.
It doesn’t work.
(✋ I tried that one too!!)
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Here’s what does work and feels a shit load better.
>> Being kind to yourself <<
💗 Speaking to yourself like you would to the people you love & care about (your BFF, your husband, your kids).
💗 Praising yourself BEFORE looking at what you could do better next time.
💗 Thanking yourself for giving it ago, for showing up, for getting out of bed,
💗 Saying something nice to yourself when you look in the mirror instead of picking out all the shit you don’t like.
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❗️Criticism doesn’t make you change.
❗️Speaking to yourself kindly DOES.
Check out my latest podcast episode called ‘cut the criticism’.
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Now go say something nice to yourself!
You deserve it ❤️❤️❤️

I had a ‘good life’ I’d brought a house Had

I had a ‘good life’
I’d brought a house
Had a nice car
Had a great job
Was making good money
Travelled often
And yet I wasn’t happy....
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So I booked a one way flight to London.
And I thought when I arrived
🤷‍♀️I’d loose weight & finally be happy
🤷‍♀️I’d make lots of money & finally be happy
🤷‍♀️I’d make lots of friends & finally be happy
🤷‍♀️I’d travel all over Europe & finally just be happy
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Here’s what actually happened when I arrived...
I hated it
I put on more weight
I missed my family
I wasn’t making friends
It was dark & cold
I was miserable
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So here’s what I did to fix it all... 👌
I went to the doctor & I asked for weight loss pills. Because, if I could just loose weight I’d finally be happy & everything would be great (true story!)
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The doctor said I had two choices. Take up the offer of 3 free life coaching sessions and THEN we could talk about it OR it was a no go from her.
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Thinking too myself “what the heck even is life coaching!? 🤔 I don’t see how the hell thats going to help me...” I took her up on option one, planning to push through the sessions and come back for my pills (dam it!) 😡
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My coach was friendly & welcoming...
during the first session we established I didn’t like myself very much (you could say I had alot of self hatred) AND I for sure thought I wasn’t worthy of good things in life, who was I deserve more than others...?!
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I had so much self loathing
And so many feelings of unworthiness
No wonder I was so unhappy inside
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She asked me these questions...
😦So, when WILL you be worthy?
😦When WILL you be enough..?
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I remember she had tissues and I cried😭
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I had NEVER thought about it like that before...
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On our second session she introduced me to a book from Louise Hay called: You Can Heal Your Life... that evening I went home and downloaded that book & begun consuming myself with it.
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🤯 And my whole life changed
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With the support of my coach & the magic between the pages of this book I became the happiest I had ever been
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And from this place of self acceptance, love & happiness I begun to...
🥰 Make friends (great friends)
🥰 I got a permanent job & better pay
**Continued in comments ⬇️**

When I moved to London I didn’t know it was goin

When I moved to London I didn’t know it was going to work out.
😬 I didn’t have a job lined up.
😬 I only knew one other person there.
😬 I was moving into a house with strangers.
.
I won’t lie…
I had some doubts.
I felt a lot of uncertainty.
I was definitely afraid.
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And at the same time I believed I could do it.
I knew I was going to figure it out.
I was doing it no matter what.
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Having your own back doesn’t mean having it all figured out.
It means knowing you will figure it out and support yourself no matter what 💪
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Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt.
It’s simply choosing not to let that doubt run the show 💪
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Courage is knowing it will be hard and uncomfortable.
And not using that as a reason to hold back 💪
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As your coach this is the work we do together.
I teach you how to have your own back.
How to create the confidence and courage you need to go out and change your own life.
I believe in you even when you don’t.
I hold you accountable to your dreams.
I say the things you need to hear to help you become the woman you want to be.
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Are you ready? ❤️

Ever had that vague feeling that life could be bet

Ever had that vague feeling that life could be better?
Or something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it…?
You are not alone.
This was me.
Thinking things should be better, that I should be happier and further along in life.Luckily I found someone who told me that my thoughts were the cause of my feelings AND ultimately those thoughts created my results too.
This blew my mind!
No wonder I felt shitty all the time…
No wonder I kept creating the same thing over and over...
No wonder I never felt like I was getting anywhere...I don't know about you but I wasn't taught this at home or in school...
So if this is you too: You are not broken. You are not doing ‘life’ wrong. You are 100% human.Changing our thoughts changes the way we feel
Changing our thoughts changes our results.
Changing our thoughts is simple (but not easy).
And this is where coaching comes in.Coaching is a series of discussions between two people.
Its purpose is to guide you to more success, happiness and wellbeing than you are currently experiencing.As a coach I am concerned with choosing where you want to be and how to get there.Together we are exploring your thoughts, feelings and actions to promote learning and
Positive results. You will learn to improve to be more confident, motivated and proactive, handle stress, cultivate self-discipline, create a positive mindset and change unproductive behaviours.Are you ready to experience Coaching?
Click here to schedule a free coaching consultation call.
This might be exactly wheat you have been looking for…Have a magical week my friend.

‼️ ANNOUNCEMENT ‼️ I have decided to shift

‼️ ANNOUNCEMENT ‼️
I have decided to shift the direction of our tribe to include BOTH the external and internal solo journeys we experience.
Right now the majority of us can not travel & we certainly can not travel freely around the world. So with that comes many mental challenges and many opportunities for growth.
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Our Tribe has always been a safe place to talk about our fears when travelling alone, our challenges both mental & physical as well as the anxiety and self-doubt we have had along the way and this remains a safe & supportive place for that AS WELL AS these experiences in our day to day lives right now.
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The greatest journey ever is the one of self discovery.
Getting to know you
Getting to like you & love you
Getting to trust you, having your own back no matter what
And what better time then now (thank you Covid) to further experience this journey…
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You may have noticed recently a lot more posts from myself & others in the space of positivity, mental wellbeing, coaching, confidence, overcoming our obstacles or challenges and many other such topics. AND I want to encourage more of these AND I too will be sharing more & encouraging these discussions.
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This does not mean we stop sharing our travel experiences, asking questions or sharing our plans for current and future trips on the contrary it now opens up a wider discussion and safe & supportive place for the internal & external journeys we are all going through…
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Huge ❤️ love
Xena xx

Friends are getting married, having babies, buying

Friends are getting married, having babies, buying houses and I’m over here like… WHAT!?.Society implies that we ‘should’ go to college, get a degree, get a good job, settle down, buy a house, get married and have 2.5 kids.We may not agree with it (I sure don’t nor do I live by it) BUT we can’t argue that it isn’t implied throughout life..So when a friend announces she’s getting married or she’s expecting a baby or they have just found their forever home… We can’t help but feel that pull of "should I be doing that too?!”.“Where is my Prince Charming? Why haven’t I settled down yet? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to do it that way?… or for not wanting that at all!? “.No.There is nothing wrong with you.AND there is no right way to do YOUR LIFE.There is no this way is better or that way is worse.And you aren’t a bad person for thinking “why haven’t I got that yet.”.What do YOU want?Not what you think you should do or haveWhat do YOU want?Be honest.Maybe you want all of it or some of it or none of it….❗️Don’t use someone else’s life circumstances as a reason to feel bad about yourself.Use it as a reason to get clear on what you want and how you are going to make that happen for yourself.Use it as inspiration.❤️✨

If you had asked my 5 years ago how the relationsh

If you had asked my 5 years ago how the relationship I have with myself is… I’d have given you a confused blank stare.I didn’t have one, or at least I wasn’t aware of the one I did have.I spent a lot of time hanging out in self-doubt, feeling insecure and loathing my bodyI wasn’t enjoying being me let alone working on building a relationship with myself..Do we know, like and trust ourselves…?.We build relationships with others in this way - we make friends with people we know, like and trust.In sales and selling our services we are encouraged to create know, like and trust for out potential clients.But when are we taught to know, like and trust ourselves?.The reality is that we aren’t and self-discovery is a path we often just find ourselves on one day (a powerful & magical path, I will add!)..Because let’s be honest we can’t get away from ourselves, we are always here! 😬😆.So why not enjoy being ourselves, why not have a powerful and loving relationship with ourself? (what do we have to lose really...?).We set the standard for others based on how we treat ourselves.We set the standard for respect, for love, for kindness for all of it.. based on how we show up for ourselves..The relationship we have with ourselves is THE most important relationship we have...❤️✨

What’s keeping you from having the life you want

What’s keeping you from having the life you want?
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You have to do something you don’t want to do or don’t understand?
YES. You do.
That’s the process. For everything.
Even learning how to walk, learning how to drive a car.
Good news. You nailed that. So you can totally do this.
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You don’t have time?
YES. Of course.
Not having what you want is taking all your time. You can give what you don’t want your time, or you can give what you DO want your time. Either way, your time will feel used up.
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It’s going to cost money?
Of course it is.
This isn’t a cheap solution that doesn’t work and you quit on it as soon as you get started. This isn’t that thing you bought on Amazon and donated to Goodwill a month later. This is your dream.
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Life is 50/50.
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We can feel shitty getting what we don’t want. Or getting what we DO want.
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The time, effort, and money are all the same either way.
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Don’t make this harder than it is.
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This isn’t the hard part.
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The hard part is feeling confident enough to say YES to yourself.✊❤️🙌
P.S - ready to invest in yourself & your dreams? Schedule a consult call with me and let’s chat! (Link in bio)

Say it with me!! 🙌❤️✊

Say it with me!! 🙌❤️✊

I help women feel more confident to do more of the

I help women feel more confident to do more of the sh*t they want.
AND I created a free guide teaching you exactly HOW TO INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE.
Link is in my bio.

This is the work that I have done. It is the work I do with my clients.

Here is what you get inside:
... Why you struggle to feel confident when it seems like other don't.
... Why your lack of trust in yourself is killing your confidence - and how to build it back up.
... Why you already have more confidence than you realise.
... Why your fear of failure is keeping you stuck and how to get over it.
... Why you can go do something and fail at it, right now - and it'll be the best thing you can do to build your confidence.

Your confidence guide is waiting.Have a magical week my friend.
❤️ Huge love xx

I was a shy kid. When I left kindergarten to start

I was a shy kid.
When I left kindergarten to start school at age 5
My mum had to be asked to leave after spending a month solid trying to ‘settle’ me into class…
I was that shy.
I was the kid who hid when the teacher asked for volunteers.
I was the kid who went bright red anytime she was asked a question.
I was the kid who liked to go last.
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This shyness followed me right up to college.
Where I moved from my 200 kid country school to a roll of over 2000 girls.
Where my lack of confidence & low self-esteem only got worse…
Fast forward a few years and I had begun trying to act 'somewhat' confident, more so I was just trying to ‘fit-in’.
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If you had told me back then that one day I would be one of the most confident people I know…
I would have gone bright red and not said a dam word because I would have been to scared to tell you I didn’t believe you!
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One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is that: Confidence doesn’t just come from doing a bunch of things.
It comes from believing in yourself.
Believing in who you are, what you are capable of and from having you own back no matter what.
And that is a skill available to us all...
Confidence isn’t knowing how to do something it’s knowing you will do what ever it takes to figure it out and supporting yourself through that process.
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Nobody is born without it.
It’s not something some people have & others don’t.
We all have the ability to learn to become more confident.
It’s in all of us ❤️

If I can’t be happy here, when will I ever be ha

If I can’t be happy here, when will I ever be happy?
I had left behind my house, a great job, all of my friends & my family
And moved to the other side of the world, to London to be exact
And I genuinely thought that in making such a big change in my life I would finally be happy.
Happiness was waiting for me in a big city full of opportunities and possibilities
Boy was I wrong.I was more miserable here than I was before.
And the only thing that was the same in all of this was ME
My job changed, my home changed, my country changed, my friends changed.
I was the only consistent thing here.
ME.
So if I couldn’t be happy here (where I really thought happiness would be found)
When was I ever going to be happy?I was so convicted that everything was happening to me.
Why does this keep happening?
Why does everyone else seem happy?
Why can’t I get a break?
This isn’t fair!
Why me?
I was 100% the victim in my own life…If you had of told me back then that I had all the power I needed to feel happy and that nothing outside of me needed to change… I would have looked at you sideways, laughed and walked away quickly.If you’d told me I would be sitting here today happier than ever before living in my home country, having not travelled in 6 months & spending winter at home whilst feeling so much love for myself and gratitude for everything in my life… I would have told you to go get help!But here we are… ❤️
Anything is possible.
We have all the power we need
And this is just the beginning.Have a beautiful weekend my friend xx

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