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With the right mindset, ANYTHING is possible
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TOP 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW AS A SOLO WOMEN TRAVELER

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Do you have the confidence to do things you’ve n Do you have the confidence to do things you’ve never done before?
To make powerful decisions?
To be willing to allow failure & setback without quitting?
To have your own back through thick & thin?
CONFIDENCE IS WHAT STANDS BETWEEN WHERE WE ARE NOW & THE LIFE WE WANT TO BE LIVING.
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And this is the best news because we can learn to become more confident!
It isn’t something that we are born with
Or that some of us have & others just don’t
It’s a skill we can learn.
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I used to think I was confident.
And by all outward appearances I was
I wasn’t afraid of confrontation
I was willing to fight back
I pushed for more money, a better job, a nicer life…
But although I was at times brave and willing to fight for what I thought I deserved.
I spent so much of my time anxious
Afraid of what others thought of me
Questioning my decisions, second guessing myself
And not feeling very good on the inside…
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I look at the confident women in my life today and I see subtle differences...
> They empower others
> They have better relationships
They make more money
> They back themselves (even when it doesn’t go the way they wanted)
> They don’t compare themselves to others
> They love themselves fully (even the bits they would like to be different)
> They are happier
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SELF-CONFIDENCE DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES.
The lives we have right now is a result of the level of confidence we have.
❤❤❤
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If you want to learn how to increase your confidence & create a life you love,
then I want to invite you to book a free consult call with me.
In this hour together we’ll explore you’re life now and the life you want to be living (even if you’re unsure how that might look)
and I will give you actionable steps to begin creating the confidence you need to start bridging that gap & living a life you love, today!
Book in for your free consult call, link in bio
Huge love, Xena xx
What to do when you don’t know what to do. 🤷 What to do when you don’t know what to do.
🤷‍♀️ “I don’t know what I should do…”
🤷‍♀️ “I don’t know how to decide…”
🤷‍♀️ “I don’t know where to start…”
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A while back I started a swear jar for “I don’t knows”
Every time I said (in my head or out-loud) I don’t know
I had to put $1 in the jar.
I made some good money off that jar! 💰
And realised just how I often I was saying it…
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Here’s the problem I had
When I believed I didn’t know
I felt confused, uncertain, doubtful 😫
And then I wouldn’t do anything…
I would hesitate, hold back, avoid it, look at what others were doing, spin in confusion and go into a whole lotta mind drama…
Basically I wouldn’t do anything productive!
I wouldn’t make decisions and move forward
I wouldn’t start things
And of course I just stayed stuck exactly where I was.
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But here’s what I was forgetting.
I was forgetting that often I did know OR at least I did have some idea
I was just afraid
Afraid of deciding, of trying, of getting it wrong
AND I wanted validation
I wanted others to tell me what to do or validate my ideas…
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💥 Fear & external validation don’t mix well with self-trust.
Therefore we often stay stuck in the land of I don’t know…
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So here are some questions I like to ask myself:
🤔 What DO I know?
🤔 What am I sure of?
🤔 If I did know, what might the answer be?
🤔 How can I find out, today? 
🤔 If I wasn’t afraid what would I do?
🤔 What validation would I like to get & why?
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AND If you’re faced with a decision here’s what I suggest:
Assign one decision to heads & one to tails.
Then flip the 🪙 coin
You’ll know before it even lands which way up you want it! 😆
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Learning how to trust yourself, have your own back & make decisions is a huge part of the work we do together in coaching. When you’re ready to explore how coaching can help you then schedule your free call with the link in my bio 🙌
And instead of saying to yourself “I don’t know about that…” Make a decision (flip that coin!)
It’s ok to want more! More money More freedom Y It’s ok to want more!
More money
More freedom
Your own business
A beautiful home
An amazing partner
More happiness
More confidence
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I wanted it all - And I went after all of it.
You’re allowed to not only want it, but go get it!
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Buy into your future - sell yourself on WHY you want it and WHY you deserve it.
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You brain is trained to talk you out of it.
You brain will tell you…
- You can’t do that!
- Who do you think you are!?
- You don’t deserve that!
- What will others think!?
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You have to learn to over ride that programming in you brain.
You can literally pull the plug out of those doubts & fears that will keep you from having more
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Back yourself
Believe in yourself
Sell yourself on what you can do it
On why you do deserve it
On why it is what you want.
Sell yourself on YOU!
AND HAVE MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT! 💪🏼
Challenge what you think is normal! We are progra Challenge what you think is normal!
We are programmed to… go to school
Get a good job
Settle down
Buy a house
Have 2.5 kids
Travel once a year.
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I dunno about you but I don’t want ‘normal’
I want to be different
I want more.
I want to be an example of what is possible.
I don’t want to fit in, I want to stand out.
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What would YOU do if you could not fail?
Success was guaranteed.
I’ll give you a pill & you will be unstoppable.
What would you do? 💗
Mic drop right here! And if you’ve ever been tol Mic drop right here! And if you’ve ever been told to calm down you’ll know it’s just adding fuel to our fire 🔥
I used to think that failure meant I sucked. That I used to think that failure meant I sucked.
That I was never going to make it...
I was never going to figure it out ...
And I might as well give up !
I had such a negative attachment to failure
In my brain failure was the end
And it was granted to feel terrible.
It’s no wonder I was so afraid of it…
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And the same is also true for success.
The idea of success to me meant I’d made it
I was winning at life
I had figured it all out.
I thought that when I arrived at success it was going to feel amazing - ALL THE TIME.
Like I had everything I could ever want.
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But what I didn’t realise was that these two definitions
➡️ Success
➡️ Failure
Weren’t mine.
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These were what I ‘thought’ these things were meant to mean
These were simply observations I had made & conclusions I had drawn
Meanings I had attributed to words.
Meanings that were NOT serving me!
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Redefining both failure & success has been a game changer for me.
Making my own conscious decisions of what these two things mean for ME…
It’s like I was walking around with a backpack full of rocks & I just took it off - The pressure, the weight, the discomfort - it’s gone.
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I am no so longer afraid of failure because now it’s just a building block in my dream
A whole bunch of information to work from
And one more thing I can cross off the list.
Sure it can still feel like crap but I know that the crap is temporary
And one day soon I will be glad for the lessons & the strength it provided
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And I am successful (ALREADY). Not because I have reached financial freedom, but simply because I decided I am!
I am living a life I love, doing work I love, with people I love - THAT is success to me.
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Moral of my story - We give SO much weight to success and failure. So why not make a decision of how YOU want to define each, what do you want these to mean (for YOU!)?
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.
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You don't need a Coach - You can 100% achieve your goals, grow your confidence & change your fucking life ALL BY YOURSELF! But if you want to see just how powerful it can be to have someone in your corner, cheering you on & providing you with accountability & tools to help you get there faster - Then PM me or book in for a free consult ❤️
When I made the decision to move countries it was When I made the decision to move countries it was excruciating 😣
My family wasn’t as supportive as I wanted
So many people didn’t understand it
People thought I was crazy to leave such a good job and head into the unknown
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➡️ Making decisions can be tough
But not making them can be equally as tough!
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When I made the decision to leave the safety of my job to work full time for myself I was afraid
What if this doesn’t work out..?
What if I don’t have what it takes..?
.
When I made the decision to share my life with someone & actively start taking steps to make that happen
I was terrified
I was afraid of rejection
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But the decision NOT to do these things would have been equally as tough if not more so.
I would have been living in the land of ‘what if’
What if I had moved to London.. where might I be now?
What if I had decided to work for myself, how successful might I be now? 
You get my point.
‘What if’ land scares me more.
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Making decision is a big part of the work I do as a coach.
I teach my clients how to make decisions and how to back themselves & be all in when they do.
We spend so much time thinking there is a right or a wrong decision to make
And worrying about the possibility of regret
And we let that stop us from making decisions and taking steps towards what we truly want.
.
My willingness to make decisions & believe in myself has lead me to:
… Live & travel all over the world 🌎
… Create & grow a successful coaching business online 💗
… Meet the man of my dreams (after 10 years being single!) 🥰
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And even when the decision I make don’t work out I always know I am better off for making a decision & learning from it - it offers me new perspective to move forward with.
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And if you need help I am here ❤️ The first step is making a decision to schedule a fee call to learn more about coaching
Doubting yourself is normal. It is one of the way Doubting yourself is normal.
It is one of the ways your brain tries to keep you safe.
Doing what you always do = comfort to your brain
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Doubt doesn’t have to mean STOP
Doubt doesn’t have to mean something is wrong
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I do things all the time whilst feeling unsure & doubting myself
I just don’t make it mean somethings wrong & I shouldn’t do it.
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When my brain offers me all the doubt
I make a deliberate & conscious effort to ask myself questions like:
> Why might I have what it takes?
> Why might I be able to do this?
> Why might this be a good idea?
> Why might this be the best decision?
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Your brain is going to want to doubt you
Your job is to show it the other options.
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If you need help, I am here. The first step is to make a decision to schedule a call to learn more about coaching and see if it is a good fit ❤️ link in bio
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PS -  This is my doubt face before hosting my first ever webinar (live zoom training) last week 😆
PPS - I nailed it 🙌 replay is in bio too 😘
I’m a recovering people pleaser For most of my a I’m a recovering people pleaser
For most of my adulthood I let what other people might think, say or do run my life.
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😣I’ve said yes to a lot of things I didn’t really want to say yes to
😣And I have stayed quiet too many times out of fear of what others might think
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Last week I was tested big time
🤬People were unhappy with me
🤬Some people voiced it
🤬Some people told me exactly what they thought I should do
🤬Exactly how they wanted me to act
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And I will be honest…
It was uncomfortable 😭
It would have been easier to say yes, to do what they say and apologise for they way they feel.
But that no longer feels good (& when I am honest it never did feel good)
It is out of integrity.
.
Saying no is only getting easier ❤️
Standing up for what I want is becoming my default setting
Being ok with other people not liking me, is the new me
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🔥 I am willing for people to be wrong about me.
Even when it feels uncomfortable.
.
And the more I work on this...
The easier it becomes to truly see that other peoples thoughts, opinions judgements, actions & two cents worth are always and only about them.
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🤔 If they were bullied growing up they may have become the bully later on
🤔 If they aren’t happy in their lives they want others to be miserable to
🤔 If they don’t believe they have what it takes, if they are scared & afraid they want others to be scared & afraid to
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People pleasing never feels good - it doesn’t feel like the truth, it feels like resentment.
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Having our own back, loving who we are & having unconditional love for ourselves the feels like truth, that is where the magic happens my friend 💗
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P.S - Want some help working on you fear of what others think & the tendency to people please? This is a big part of the work I do as Coach & I can help you to. Book a free 60 minute consult and let’s get started: https://solowomentraveltribe.as.me/consult
This week I have versions of the following directe This week I have versions of the following directed my way…
🤬You shouldn’t be running your group like this
🤬You should be doing better
🤬You should know better
🤬You are all talk & no substance
🤬You are loud for the sake of being so
🤬You are so generic & empty
🤬It feels like some pitch to book service with you
🤬I don’t need your daily updates
🤬You suck
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I’m human - of course it stings.
Sometimes I want to crawl into bed, binge watch Netflix and eat all the 🍫 chocolate.
And I know my initial response is to want to tell them they are wrong, that this isn’t fair or they shouldn’t say those things, better still just leave, get out! 😤
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But I (am learning to) remember to pause.
I allow the sting to soak in
And I begin to ask myself
🤔 In what ways might they be right?
🤔 Where are they coming from?
🤔 What must they be feeling in order to say these things?
.
Perspective helps.
And 9 times out of 10 we both want a similar thing
Happiness, a better environment, peace… 💗
.
When it comes to responding I try questions like this on…
➡️ What is best for this community?
➡️ What feels most like love for us both?
.
Sometimes the thing that feels most like love is to remove them from your world...
Sometimes it’s to tell them you would like to better understand where they are coming from & allow them to show you...
Sometimes it is to do & say nothing…
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As a recover people pleaser 🤗 it would be easy for me to try & accommodate everyone.
To try & make sure they are all happy.
That they like me & the space I have created
But that is out of integrity.
That isn’t who I am anymore ❤️
.
And at the end of the day what other people say to us is NEVER about us. It is always & only about them.
Here is a small extract from The Four Agreements book 📖 I am currently reading: “Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do & the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.”
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❤️Huge love
Xena xx
⚠️ You should unfollow me ‼️ …Yeah you r ⚠️ You should unfollow me ‼️
…Yeah you read that right.
Yesterday I invited all 37,000 women in my FB group today to leave.
Today I emailed 4500 people on my list and told them why they should unsubscribe.
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If I am not your cup of tea…
If I inspire you to want to write negative, nasty or not so nice comments 🤬
Then here’s some fuel to add to your fire 🔥 and 7 reasons why you should unfollow me immediately:
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1. I will keep talking about mindset, positivity, confidence, inspiration, empowerment and frankly anything I think is going to be helpful at all (I am a Life Coach after all)
2. I am going to swear 😬 (shit sorry Mum!) 
3. I won't edit myself and who I am to make you or anyone more comfortable (I suggest you don't either & watch as your confidence sores)
4. I am going to make offers. I will show you the power of coaching & let you know that I can help you if and when you are ready. 
5. I am going to love the hell out of you and everyone on my email list, listening to my podcast, in my free facebook group & frankly anywhere I can because I like to love on people🥰 I love you even when you unsubscribe, leave or opt out - that's 100% the right choice for us both.
6. I'm going to speak the truth & sometimes I will say things you don't want to hear. As a coach this is my job - I tell my clients what they need to hear and not always what they want to hear but see #5 above ❤️ (it always comes from love)
7. I'm human. Sometimes I will make mistakes & that includes spelling mistakes and gramatical errors (there will no doubt be some in this post 🤷‍♀️)
.    
⚠️ I am going to be more me, without editing or apologising for who I am. 
I love you. 
And I invite you to do the same.
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PS - want to be more confident and bold in your life? Book a free 60 minute consult call. I’ve got you ❤️
We don’t have to have it all figured out to be b We don’t have to have it all figured out to be badass
🔥The first time I ever travelled solo I was sh*t scared & not feeling ready at all… I was still a f**king badass!
🔥The first time I offered to speak in public I was shaking, terrified, not as prepared as I wanted to be… And I was still a f**king badass!
🔥When I joined the world of online dating after 10 years of being single I was T-E-R-R-I-F-E-D (my dramatic brain felt like we were going to die!) … And I was still a f**king bad ass!
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What do all of these have in common?
Self-belief - I believed in me & my ability to do it !
💪🏼Even when I was afraid
💪🏼Even when I didn’t ‘feel’ ready
💪🏼Even when I could find all the reasons why not to
I BELIEVED IN ME
🙌I was willing to feel afraid
🙌I was willing to keep going
🙌I was willing to handle whatever came my way.We don’t have to have it all figured out to be bad ass 🔥
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⬆️⬆️ This is the power of coaching.. ⤵️
Believing in ourselves, having our own backs & making it happen.
This is what I teach my clients and I can teach it to you too.
The first step is booking in for a free 60 minute consultation with me ✅
I’ve got you.
❤️ Xena xx
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